All of us learn(ed) how to act in restaurants, airports, steamships, Stagecoaches, and dozens of other public spaces at such a young age that, by the time we’re grown up, we know how act like we are on autopilot. Tasting rooms, on the other hand, are approached by many with ambivalence and uncertainty, without any guidance. So let me take it upon my self to give you a few pointers...

1. Know the purpose of tasting rooms: The Saarloos Families tasting room is a place where they share the hard work they put in a bottle. From out in the Vineyards 365 days a year to waiting in barrel for two to three years, then waiting in bottle for a year until you take it home. They think of their wines like their children.  Though these Saarloos' really know how to have a GREAT TIME! 

2. We have been known to Comp. your fee if you buy a few bottles or join the wine club. 

3. We have NO TASTING NOTES, Thus they don't tell you what you taste. Wine is about discovery how dare we tell you what you taste. We feel that their wines speak for themselves, not in a pompous way, but much like music. You would never ask what does this sound like? So, wines taste like what they taste like.  So put a bit in your mouth, splash it around, and let us know what you think. We are all adults, and wine is about discovery. Think about it this way, have you ever been set up on a blind date? Has that person ever been EXACTLY as described?  You go on a date and you see for yourself if you like them or not, same goes for wine. This is the reason why we only sell our wines at the tasting room. IF YOU LIKE IT, BUY IT, IF YOU DONT, THEN DONT. More so, far be it from us to treat you like a child and tell you that you should be tasting. they will never tell you that you should be tasting “hints of barnyard” while you are tasting spicy leather, come to think of it why do you know what spicy leather tastes like... 

4. If you are Snobby they will kick you out of the House. A snob is defined as: Someone who uses their level of experience or knowledge to make someone new feel inferior or uncomfortable. There is nothing worse than someone spouting off just to make the new kid uncomfortable. Remember everyone is new to this at one time, and everyone needs to be welcoming to those that are just coming up. Its people like these Snobs that give wine a bad name. Moreover, if you talk/act like this I invite you to spend frost season with The Family  getting up like a fireman when a pin of frost hits the floor. One night of being covered in Frozen Water and Mud until the sun comes up will fix that quick.  

Summery : Be a Snob get 86’ed

5. Winemaking is voodoo. Farming is Spiritual. We planted our grapes about 15 Years ago. THEY planted every single vine. they started with 14 Acres of Syrah.  they had our first bottle of our own wine in 2003 (We mostly sell our grapes to other winemakers) and have been making growing wine ever since. Now they have 2 vineyards, each one has a different personality. Each vine in those vineyards is different.

6. Learn to spit: Getting a buzz is part of the fun, but tasting at several wineries will inevitably take you from dapper to disheveled from "Classy to Tashy" as they say these days. No matter how well you hold your booze, you have a long day ahead of you. Pace yourselves, this is a Marathon and not a sprint.  And while spitting may seem utterly counterintuitive while attempting to demonstrate personal classiness and respect for the wine, you’ll accomplish both by doing so. Sip, Savor, Spit. 

7. The Cupcakes will sell out:  Enjoy and Saarloos and sons is a pretty happening joint, and those in the know get here EARLY. the Wine and Cupcake pairings sell out every day. "The EarlyBird Gets the Flight" OR CALL TO HAVE THEM RESERVED! 

8. WINE is about APPRECIATION not Deconstruction. Be positive, find the things you love. Be a fountain, Not a drain.

9. Think about everyone around you: Ditch the cologne and lipstick when you go taste. Everyone is more interested in smelling the wine than you, and lipstick refuses to come off of wine glasses. 
Lipstick is a cruel lady.

10. When in doubt, make a reservation: Some tasting rooms could comfortably accommodate a herd of elephants,  but others are more like walk-in closets. You did the right thing.

**Taste safely and responsibly. Despite being a more socially accepted manner of day drinking, it’s still drinking. Designate a driver or try out one of the many local wine-tour companies Santa Barbara has to offer like Stage Coach Wine Tours. Office:  805.686.8347

Well, thanks for listening.

Keith Saarloos

WineFarmer, Son. Person of interest.