When I read those "life affirming posts" I always think to myself, there is another like me. There is someone that has looked down the barrel of the gun and has decided, no. Not today.
Just the emotional equivalent to Wyatt Earp, saying "No" walking across the river dodging bullets.
It is Shooting back.
It's acknowledging the mountain of shit and calling it candy and grabbing a spoon.
Life is hard. Life is terror. Life is a un-winnable drive across the field with no end zone.
And before you run out into that game you can't win, the game of million dollar studio apartments, family businesses, jobs that suck our lives away,
We adjust the sails and pray for wind.. We look around our little huddle, smile and play another down. It's the parachute you haves faith in, before throwing your self off the cliff. It is Peter Venkmen telling Ray how excited he is about the plan. It is burning the ships, and saying "well we aren't going back that way"
I lie to myself all the time. I lie to myself so much that I start to believe it.
No one would ever have a kid, get married, start a business... If they knew, how hard it is. Most people hang it up, call bullshit and go to the bar.
I understand that. I understand that completely. But I know how that song ends, you lock in, and Hemingway out.
I want to take that shot of courage, that lie, that affirming post in the am. I want to take my daughter to coffee in the am and realize, I'm going to leave this better for her than I got it.
Double down and die trying for the team, for the family, for each other.
So when I read "life affirming post #345,632" I think,
"See you on the other side, Ray. Then aim for the flat top."
We are imbalanced.
The crazy ones know they are.